Monday, July 18, 2005

Funny :) - Project Management Proverbs


Project Management Proverbs compiled and some written by Mike Harding Roberts



  • It takes one woman nine months to have a baby. It cannot be done in one month by impregnating nine women
  • The same work under the same conditions will be estimated differently by ten different estimators or by one estimator at ten different times.
  • Any project can be estimated accurately (once it's completed).
  • The most valuable and least used WORD in a project manager's vocabulary is "NO".
  • The most valuable and least used PHRASE in a project manager's vocabulary is "I don't know".
  • Nothing is impossible for the person who doesn't have to do it.
  • You can con a sucker into committing to an impossible deadline, but you cannot con him into meeting it.
  • At the heart of every large project is a small project trying to get out.
  • If you don't stand for something, you'll fall for anything.
  • The more desperate the situation the more optimistic the situatee.
  • If it looks like a duck, walks like a duck and quacks like a duck, it probably is a duck.
  • Too few people on a project can't solve the problems - too many create more problems than they solve.
  • A problem shared is a buck passed.
  • A change freeze is like the abominable snowman: it is a myth and would anyway melt when heat is applied.
  • A user will tell you anything you ask about, but nothing more.
  • A user is somebody who tells you what they want the day you give them what they asked for.
  • Of several possible interpretations of a communication, the least convenient is the correct one.
  • What you don't know hurts you.
  • The conditions attached to a promise are forgotten, only the promise is remembered.
  • There's never enough time to do it right first time but there's always enough time to go back and do it again.
  • I know that you believe that you understand what you think I said but I am not sure you realise that what you heard is not what I meant.
  • Estimators do it in groups - bottom up and top down.
  • Good estimators aren't modest: if it's huge they say so.
  • The sooner you begin coding the later you finish.
  • A verbal contract isn't worth the paper it's written on.
  • What is not on paper has not been said.
  • If you don’t know where you’re going, any road will take you there.
  • If you fail to plan you are planning to fail.
  • If you don't attack the risks, the risks will attack you.
  • A little risk management saves a lot of fan cleaning.
  • The sooner you get behind schedule, the more time you have to make it up.
  • A badly planned project will take three times longer than expected - a well planned project only twice as long as expected.
  • If you can keep your head while all about you are losing theirs, you haven't understood the plan.
  • When all's said and done a lot more is said than done.
  • If at first you don't succeed, remove all evidence you ever tried.
  • Never put off until tomorrow what you can put off until the day after.
  • Feather and down are padding - changes and contingencies will be real events.
  • There are no good project managers - only lucky ones.
  • The more you plan the luckier you get.

1 comments:

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